Fighting that Feeling

We are now on month 3 of Tanner doing a rotation in another place. That means we only see him for the most part on weekends....and we are surviving. Here are some things that have helped keep us sane:

Grandma and Auntie Em came and stayed one week and we had a grand ol' time with them around. 

Mariah said that she was "Princess Zucchano" and that Em was her Fairy Godmother. Because Emily is such a great Aunt she followed the prancing princess around the house for far longer than I would have done. 

Grandma also did a tea party with Mariah and Chet. Mariah was so excited about it all, especially the cupcakes she helped Grandma make. 

Chet was feeding Mariah and getting such a kick out of it. And yes, all my children ever want to do is lick the frosting off and ditch the cupcake. 

We shopped a lot that week and this is how Chet felt about the shop 'til you drop plan: 

Poor little fella, he must take after his mother. That is often how I feel when shopping with Grandma. 

But in truth I really enjoyed myself this time because it sure beat sitting at home trying to carry on an adult conversation with my toddlers. So thanks Grandma and Emmie for making that week fly by!

The zoo in Logan has a storytime every week where the kids get to hear a story, see an animal, and do a craft. It only costs fifty cents a child so we try to go as often as we can. So far they have seen a cockatoo, desert tortoise, snake, and sheep. 

 Mariah loved the snake. I'm glad she isn't afraid of things like that, but we have to keep an extra eye on her in nature. 

The feisty little lamb

We also do story time at the library and Mariah is now old enough to go to the big kids story time all by herself. On the first day I kept assuring her that mom would be "right there" waiting for her when she got out. But in reality that was only for my benefit. She had no hesitation leaving me, sniff, sniff. So now I get to chase Chet around during the mommy and me story time because he is a mover and a shaker. 

Every week I get together with some friends from Medical School for a play group too. That is so helpful. It is nice to talk with people who know better than most what I am going through. We can voice the worries, frustrations, and excitement that all comes with being a medical student spouse. I am so grateful for those girls! 

We also go on many walks and trips to the park. I have to wear out these kids somehow. 

They were so cute in here, and then they started to fall asleep so I had to put an end to the relaxation real quick. No one messes with naptime. 

And here's another double up at another park. This one wasn't successful. Mariah was patient enough while I was taking pictures but right when I finished she said, "ok, Chet needs to get out". 

And I don't know what I would do without my wonderful, dear and darling sister Brittany. 

 The puppy entertainment alone is wonderful

But Aunt "Boo" is just so great even without cute little Suzie Q. 

As I began to realize just how much Tanner was going to be gone the next 6+ months I decided to throw a pity-party for myself. Who was more deserving than me? And then thankfully I had some humbling moments that helped me realize, it could be worse, much much worse. 

I started reading the book The Dollmaker. This book takes place during WWII. It tells of communities where the only men present were elderly or the infirm. Women spent day after day after weeks waiting for letters from their husbands and worrying that they may receive that dreadful telegram telling them that they were gone. Many were separated for years. Tanner may be gone, but I don't have to wonder if he is safe. And I am able to talk to him and see his face if I want to. What a blessing! I don't have to worry that my children will forget their dad because they can talk to him face to face every night. How grateful I am to live in the time that I do. 

And most importantly, I have a husband who loves his family deeply and is only gone because he knows it is where he needs to be. Sometimes I am tempted to think that this is like a vacation for him. But then I hear in his voice the regret of not being here to help and love and learn with his family. And I realize how selfish I can be. I am the lucky one here; I get to see my children learn and grow each and every day. And this wonderful husband of mine is willing to let me do that while he works to provide for his family. So really, instead of thinking about how it could be worse, I need to remember that it couldn't be better. Our life is wonderful and full of so many blessings.